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Bird Jokes and Riddles for KidsDinosaursToday's featured page: Art Coloring Pages: Portraits

Our subscribers' grade-level estimate for this page: 5th - 6th

Q: Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?

A: Because it was an early bird!
Thanks to Colin W., Palaeobiology undergraduate, John Moores, Liverpool, UK

Q: What was T. rex's favorite number?

A: Eight! (ate)
Thanks to Haley, Age 6, Anchorage, Alaska, USA

Q: Why did the dinosaur get in the bed ?

A: Because he was tired!
Thanks to Sarah, Age 6, Anchorage, Alaska, USA

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?

A: It was the chicken's day off!!
Thanks to Courtney T., Age 10, Port Moody, B.C., Canada

Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.

Doctor: Tell her I can't see her!

Q: What do you call a fossil that doesn't ever want to work?

A: Lazy bones!

Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars

A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q: What did the dinosaur say after the car crash ?

A: I'msosaurus
Thanks to Haley F.

Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a goal with a soccer ball?

A: A dino-score!
Thanks to Brandon B., Georgia, USA, 12 years old

Q: What do you call a plated dinosaur when he is asleep? ?

A: Stegosnorus !
Thanks to Marcel B.

Q: What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks ...? ?

A: A dinobore!
Thanks to Marcel B.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? ?

A: Doyathinkysaurus! (Do you think he saw us)
Thanks to Hannah D., 9 years old, Manchester, England

Q: What does a Triceratops sit on?

A: Its Tricera-bottom.

Q: What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?

A: Long distance!

Q: Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?

A: Because they can't afford new ones!

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?

A: Hello, hello!

Q: Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?

A: That depends on how fast you carry it!

Antal: I wish I had enough money to buy a dinosaur .

Donald: What would you do with a dinosaur ?

Antal: Who wants a dinosaur ? I just want the money !

Elias: I lost my pet dinosaur .

Donald: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper ?

Elias: What good would that do, she can't read!

Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?

A: Dino-sore!

Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?

A: Because they wouldn't take a bath !

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?

A: The chicken hadn't evolved yet! .

Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?

A: Two dinosaurs !

Q: What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?

A: Anything you want, it can't hear you!

Q: What's better than a talking dinosaur ?

A: A spelling bee !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?

A: The dino-snore!

Q: What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?

A: Tyrannosaurus tex!

Q: What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?

A: A Bronco-saurus !

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?

Thanks to Kellen, age 6, Oregon, USA

Q: When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet?

A: When it's not raining!

Q: Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?

A: Any kind! A house can't jump!

Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?

A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Q: What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ?

A: Cheer him up!

Q: Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?

A: Because no one ever tells them anything!

Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?

A: Anything she wants!

Q: What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus ?

A: The strawberry is red!

Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?

A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?

A: Strawberry jam !

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?

A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?

A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !

Q: What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks?

A: More than the dinosaur !

Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

A: Down in the mouth !

Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?

A: In the dark!

Q: What was the scariest prehistoric animal?

A: The Terror-dactyl !

Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?

A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur slides in to home plate?

A: A dinoscore! (thanks to Mark Alden R.)

Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?

A: A Tricera-hops!

Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ?

A: Jurassic Pork!

Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?

A: I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Q: What made the dinosaur's car stop ?

A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ?

A: A Stegosau-rust !

Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?

A: A dino-saw !

Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?

A: A dino-sewer !

Q: Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?

A: Tricera-cops !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?

A: Rep. Tile!

Q: Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?

A: To the dino-shore !

Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?

A: At a dino-store!

Q: How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

A: With Tyrannosaurus checks !

Q: Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?

A: Because she was a plant eater!

Q: What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?

A: A dino-see-saur !

Q: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?

A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Q: How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?

A: As fur as you can get!

Q: Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?

A: Because they don't know how to cook !

Q: What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?

A: Baby dinosaurs!

Q: How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?

A: One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!

Q: How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?

A: The door won't close!

Q: How do you make a dinosaur float?

A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur !

Q: Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?

A: There weren't any roads then!
Thanks to Chris D., Age 10, St. Albert, Alberta, Canada

Q: Did the dinosaur take a bath ?

A: Why, is there one missing?

Q: What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?

A: The letter "s"!

Q: Where do dinosaurs get their mail ?

A: At the dead-letter office!

Q: What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?

A: Her shadow!

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?

A: Out of the way!

Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator ?

A: Look for footprints in the pizza !

Q: What happened when the dinosaur took the train home?

A: She had to bring it back!

Mitchell: Why did the Triceratops cross the road ?

Robert: He didn't, the chicken crossed the road .

Mitchell: Well, why did the chicken cross the road ?

Robert: To get away from the Triceratops !

Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed ?

A: Your nose hits the ceiling!

Q: Why was the dinosaur afraid of the ocean ?

A: Because there was something fishy about it!

Q: What do you call a Stegoceras with one leg?

A: Eileen (I lean)!

Mother: Why are you crying?

Daughter: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother .

Mother: That's no reason to cry.

Daughter: Yes it is! No one would trade me!

Many thanks to Antal, the joke-meister!

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